you cant help but feel the frustration. In this country of mine (if its even politically correct to utter such a phrase), i can't seem to find the slightest hint of what am i supposed to be and/or do. Yet, somehow, I came to the conclusion: probably the definition of the term "citizen" in the edition some authority figures studied in school is completely different than the new modified, sugar-coated, hilarious-at-points, edition that i studied and was supposed to act out. And I believe this not just me, but anyone else for that matter. Anyone who doesn't seem to have the country's name in his/her family name, that is.
This is the part where you either agree to that last notion, and make the jump. If you happen to disagree, am kind enough to let you know that you won't like where this is going :)
I sometimes appreciate the way life sucks me in, causing me to be socially absent from reacting to what's going on. I do know what's happening, it's the 21st century after all, and there's some really mind blowing stuff happening around the country these days, you can't simply escape the news. However, am glad, sometimes, that i can't react instantly.
Because, i noticed that i spend too much time trying to reason with what seems to be unreasonable. Which is, again, what defines a citizen in this country?
Yes, the question is rhetorical.
Slowly, as I grew to realize more and more little details that slipped my radar, I noticed a pattern:
- Develop a social aspect or view on society and you as a member of it.
- Demand a socially-driven right because of this aspect.
- Risk a 50% chance of either being defamed or detained.
However, on the other side of reason..
- Develop a social aspect or view on what society means to you.
- Break a law or two, mostly for financial reasons (god knows how much this country stores underground)
- Risk a 50% chance of being defamed or detained, if you didn't pay the right connections with the right amount of money, or came from the right background that allows you to.
There's a 50% hope remaining in both scenarios, that's all you hippies care about.. (not looking at your direction)
What? it's not just that? then can you please answer me on these?
If laws were broken, with catastrophic results (socially, financially or geographically -wink wink-), and you don't see the culprits being brought to justice as fast or as present as that should be, what's left to conclude?
Believe me, i looked up "selective justice" in any dictionary you'd think of, i couldn't find anything relevant to what this country is going through. I did find what my name means in three languages, but that's not relevant now (although very intriguing, right? RIGHT?)
Moreover, All am seeing, and i hope you're not locked up in some utopian delusional view about this country, more "Right" people are being brought into questioning, while the "Wrong" people managed to grease their way out.
Why the Quotations marks? because what my country taught me, and taught me well, the definition of right and wrong is conditional. This time is no different from any other.
So, i came to question myself. What am i supposed to do?
When a mistake is taking place right infront of me, would it be any use to even report it? God knows the culprit might be a private jet away from a Spanish beach resort, where he can bask in the sun while things lose momentum, focus, attention or reason to care all together.
Or, if i came to fight for a right that was lost in translation, would i even dare to fight to bring it back? Or i should spend my time praying that i'll manage to get my point through before those "patriotic citizens" defame me for treason, atheism, or using terms such as "liberal" that don't really fit in the context of how can a "SAUDI" be "liberal"..
Or maybe, if i happen to ever use my brain and meditate on an idea or a theory, possible or impossible or even plausible or not, and just felt like publicly expressing it. Do i deserve to be "taken out" in any way or form?
Really? that's the message you're promoting? What's next? learn Mandarin?
Really? that's the message you're promoting? What's next? learn Mandarin?
So, i can't complain, i can't criticize, i can't meditate, i can't ponder, i can't wonder, i can't act or react the way i want to. I can only do what the guidelines tell me to. The sources of these guidelines are blurry in origin, so let's not go there now, i still have a couple of art pieces to publish here before they block access to my blog because of digging too deep. Wink wink *ouch! MY EYE!!!*
..Can i buy drugs at least? I mean, you HAVE to give me something, right?
I know am going to get myself a headache over some worthless heart burns (or that's what i've been told by fellow members of this country), but kissing ass and looking beyond the thick crusty layer of crap that's covering many crucial aspects of Saudi life is something that i tried to do, but couldn't. Come to thing about it, i think i lost my national ID somewhere in the process though, so let me know if you come across it.
Easy to spot out, look for a Chewbacca look-alike.
Authority figures keeping order? or just keeping track of criticism and muffle the "noise" down? Because, i really want to know a way to fix (or approach someone who can fix) the many wrong doings that are too obvious to ignore, without having to be shunned for it. I mean no harm, dear country of this weird peninsula, i mean to vent in peace and with no pitchforks.
I heard that some of those personalities have a glorified day dream and are expecting a way where you can hand in a criticism with a compliment that logically denies why you're pointing out mistakes. It's like a proper balance between pointing out whats wrong while still kissing ass. Something in the line of, "you're a great guy, but you suck".
If you listen to the radio, you'd probably be familiar with small sample of what am talking about, which is:
- spend 30% of the time complimenting (while most of it is based on bullshit and wasting listeners time using complimentary terms that all mean the same but are used to fill air space)
- spend another 30% praising the government (despite how relevant or irrelevant mentioning them is to your point)
- the remaining 40% is spent circling around one complaint that apparently the listener can't really identify but felt like venting anyways to show his concerns, hilariously thinking that a phone call will help this country (you'd be surprised by how many who think Radio Shows are the way to help this country, ALONE!)
You know what they call that sort of thing? in my book (which can be purchased in gas stations around the country for 10 SR + a free Tissue box), is nothing but oxymoronic citizenship, where you're supposed to NOT like how things are, and yet show that you do. It's not hypocritical, you'll have to willingly do that sort of thing to be a hypocrite, whilst KNOWING that you're doing it. when you don't know it, welcome to my categorical and over-stereotypical definition of who you are :)
That's an "over dramatization" of how things are, right? I'm sure you're sitting on the brighter side of the rainbow, because i actually dared to cross to the pot of gold on the other side, and only found roasted water melon seeds with no salt. NO DAMN SALT!
In a related note, and what's really worth admiring here, is how the people (amongst themselves) seem to do the government's job pretty well. Some would actually listen and help, some would try to help but can't for obvious reasons, some would censor some of your thoughts and needs, and some would just like to censor you all together. Not to mention the rest who delay you until you get a green folder with a damn 4x6 picture :)
Some would approach you, tell you that you're looking too deep into things, and you're losing focus on what's really good in this country. To me, personally, and with all due respect to their flower filled daydreams, all i see is a government struggling to do what's right, a heap of middle men that make sure it's not happening for personal/financial/political gains, a huge slice of the population in complete ignorance and/or confusion of what the HECK is going on, and a small percentage of those who give a crap and are grinded because of it.
a recipe for social disaster? Not so quick, even my cynical self knows that that's jumping way too soon into conclusions..
We're halfway through the ingredients, you can tell because times are rapidly changing, in a degree one way or another, and can be shifted with the just the right push. And I firmly believe that there's still some time left before we can officially announce, this place isn't worth it. I support those who need support, but most of the time, the cycle ends there. And "I" here is collective for anyone who shares my opinion, finding themselves supporting causes, while not being supported themselves to keep those causes alive. Believe it or not, it takes more than a handful of tweeters to support causes, so sticking together is a bit more deeper than Retweeting endlessly.
Suggestions, for now:
Suggestions, for now:
- Write a blog and express your opinion and how this case makes you feel. Send me a link to your blog and i'll post it here.
- Start a Facebook page, or contribute to the Twitter trend with YOUR ORIGINAL CONTENT, and demand answers. If a twitter hastag trends, it should trend with concerns, not 2 day old tweets.
- Socially discuss and interact. Bring those offline to what's happening online.
I believe that if we try, for once, to stand for whatever we believe in, no matter how small or socially-irrelevant it is to any major issue you can think of, because if it matters to us, it matters to the society we're in. It should. Building our courage to ask "louder" from there. Only then when we can Support change, support those who support change, socially encourage opinions (whether you agree with them or not) and encourage the difference in opinion (And peacefully accepting that). Because we're not supposed to completely think alike about certain key elements in life, but we're supposed to at least share knowledge of what those elements are.
I'm just a voice, but hopefully, one day, this country will give me a body..